cacophony

The most frightening four letter word?

Posted by cacophony in : My life , trackback

Sorry I haven’t been around for a few weeks, guys. I’ve been busy; falling in love.

My new beau, Darren, is an extraordinary fellow. He’s smart, funny, caring, drop dead gorgeous and keen on me. I’m the kind of girl who falls in love at the drop of a hat but a broken heart or seven have taught me to exercise caution. We’ve been going out for a month.

I know that I’m falling in love with him. He can probably tell. But at some point, you need to say it.

So when is the right time to use the “L” word?

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1. winnierose -

Love speaks of many things, its such a passionate word, but not one to use lightly. Surely you wouldnt declare love for someone after a few short weeks? You couldnt’ have possibly assessed how he acts in a variety of situations. You couldn’t possibly know all his qualtities. His beliefs, his values. So when is the right time………..for you, I reckon in about 3 years.

2. fossil -

in about 10 years

3. theshadow -

For me, in my current relationship with the Lady Diana, we tried the word out to see if it fit, and was comfortable. It was a sort of game at the time, but in reality we knew we had strong feelings for each other. So in essence, you could say our game was a practice for the real event.

I wont tell you our secret codes, but every time we speak, or text, we always say our secret i love you code. Sickly sweet? you bet, but it works for us.

cheerio
shadowmaster

4. vivavoce -

I would wait for a very long time and be sure that you’re not confusing lust, desperation, neediness or love of the idea of being “in love” with true love. I think winnierose is pretty right.

5. mercy -

i know the feeling and i love it. wait until he says it. if youre nowhere near a bedroom you can say i love you too. otherwise beware.

6. meinrosebud -

You will use it, just see you use it to express your feeling and NOT what you think he wants to hear. Saying ‘I Love You’ and not meaning it can crush a heart.

7. Dr.Fell -

mercy is right, wait until he says it. To avoid appearing overkeen I believe the modern response should be ‘whatever” and continue filing your nails.

8. winnierose -

LOL, I love it Dr Fell……….good call.

9. Lady Chaos -

Awesome!! It’s great news you’ve found such a wonderful guy. I hope everything goes well for you - and don’t hold back, there’s nothing wrong with falling in love - it’s easier to mend a broken heart than to melt a frozen one.

There is no too early or too late. Saying you love someone is just words - you can not say it and love them, or you can say it and not love them. At the end of the day it’s the actual feelings of the people that matter, not whether they use a specific word or not.

Saying it when you don’t know EVERYTHING about them isn’t going to wreck the relationship, (unless one partner is horribly fragile). It takes a lot more than that.

In terms of sheer practicality (if it is a given that you do love him), I’d say don’t leave it too long (more than a few months), otherwise you get into awkward moments where the fact that you haven’t “officially” declared your love becomes annoying and weird, e.g. when a friend or family member sees you two cuddling and goes “aww, look at that, they’re so in love!”, and you guys just half-heartedly chuckle and mutter “uh, yeah… I guess…” REALLY awkward.

What’s worse is when one partner int he relationship has made it clear (for whatever reason) that they don’t intend to say those three little words, and then accidentally drop them in conversation, e.g. getting ready for a night on the town: girl: “Oh, ha ha, I look like a nun in this dress,”, boy: “Aww, I love my nun… oops…”

But still, it’s just advice, and every relationship’s different, so do what feels right for you. Best of luck!

10. cacophony -

Well, it’s done.
I picked a pretty bad moment but it needed to be said. When you know, you know.

Me: “I’m falling in love with you. Is that ok?”
Him: “Yeah, of course it’s ok. Don’t look so worried.”
Then it was back to normal. And I feel much better now.

Thanks for everything, guys.

11. fossil -

idiot

12. Michael Harris -

I give you another two months

13. brian -

For months I’ve enjoyed guessing and wondering who’s what sex and now you’ve revealed all !!

14. fossil -

Righto ya big sook, visit http://fossil.nook.com.au/2007/06/26/just-nookin/ and enjoy your own couplet. It’s not very good but neither were the rest of them.

You’re not an idiot, just impetuous. Hope all goes well.

15. cacophony -

Thanks fossil.
I am being impetuous, I know, but I’m young and taking chances is what life is about. I’m old enough to know that heartbreak isn’t as bad as regret; so bring it on.

16. brian -

I read this post several days ago and left without comment but its bothered me ever since so I have to say something like this:- If its real it’s the easiest thing to say if its not real its impossible to say, time, context, environment, position have no bearing, if you are able, say it as often as you can.

17. cacophony -